Saturday, June 29, 2013

Choosing Happiness over Loneliness

Signs that your relationship is either coming to an end or in trouble:

 1) Your significant other refuses to let you see their phone, or has their phone on lock down.

2) They never introduce you to any of their friends or family.

3) They refuse to accept you as "friends" on social networking sites such as Facebook.

4) They only invite you over for private sleep overs.

5) They avoid all terms of endearment or admitting they care about you above attraction.

6) They refuse to put a label on what you two have.

7) You never fight.

8) Oh and anytime they say in some way that your relationship has to be a secret. Run. 

I experienced all these and other signs from Boy in the final weeks. Don't get me wrong, Boy used to spoil me when it came to taking me out and before I ruined things by moving to Arizona due to THE EX, I think he really cared about me. He even flew out to AZ to see me for my birthday. Yet, when I moved back to CO, he had almost done a 180 to the emotionally unavailable guy that I had met when I was 19. He started playing games like saying he had plans or might have plans with his guy friends then later saying they fell through. I started not waiting around for him and started making plans with my friends when he'd "be busy." When he'd magically not have plans, he'd get upset that I wasn't willing to break mine to hang out with him. He also started referring to me as "the other woman." His jokes became so constant that I couldn't tell if they were jokes or veiled truth with sarcasm. He'd say things like, "Don't leave your stuff here or my girlfriend will find out." Then  he got a jeep because, "It was unmanly to pick up chicks with the bug." Or something like that.

  So, when Boy made a disappearing act after I had tried involving him with my family & friends. I gave up. I was 23, and although still young, had no time for game playing. This and so much more were reasons why I, on an August night, when I heard a knock on the door, invited Neighbor Boy in to my apartment. I remember that first night so vividly because it was a night that changed my life. I was putting away laundry and watching Gabriel Iglesias (by the way this is the most amazing comedian and you should watch him right now) on my lap top. He was perfectly content to watch it and wait for me to be done putting my laundry away. Then he asked me if I wanted to see a movie. That was when I made the decision, after not hearing from Boy for a week or so, to forget him. We went to the Movie Tavern but, the next movie didn't start for a while, so we decided to eat our meal first and have a drink. We then decided to play a first shooter in the arcade and I kicked booty. He was impressed. Honestly, I don't even remember what the movie was. Its not an important fact. It was an amazing first date even though at the time I didn't know that's where we were heading.
How could you say no?

Over the next few weeks, we went on other dates; such as, the Aquarium, Casa Bonita, a barbeque joint... etc. He would send me texts every day that said things like, "Roses are red, violets are blue, why are you such a sweet heart?" (I know he wasn't the rhymer but still cute). After one of our dates, he got down on his knees, and basically proposed to me (to date me). He said something along the lines of him taking care of me, treating me like the princess that I am, and that he'd try to never make a me cry (which is not avoidable if you're in real relationship). This moment was the moment that changed my life. The moment I chose happiness over loneliness. Honestly, I would go every painful moment in my life again as long as it brought me back to that moment.

Hawt couple!
 I think it was sometime in late August, early September, after my birthday, when Boy texted me explaining that his phone had broke or something to that effect. Here is my problem with this: he had a few other ways to contact me, if he so chose. We were friends on Gmail chat where we have talked before and he would be active on while at work. He had my email address. Oh and he had my friend request on facebook that he never approved (to this day). I call Bull SH**! I made up some excuse that I was babysitting and couldn't hang out. I mean, he didn't even say hi to me on my birthday. Neighbor Boy was determined to see/talk to me on my birthday and it had been less than a month of knowing eachother. (Yes, I'm one of those who love holidays.) I think Boy asked me out one more time that I didn't respond to. We haven't talked since. Not once. I thank God for the day I met Neighbor Boy.

Song of the day: "My girl's Ex boy-friend" by Relient K

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Flat tires, Meet cutes, and Missed texts

It's been approximately one year, ten months and two weeks since my last post. A great deal with this lapsed time has to do with not having a secure internet connection, a good deal to do with too much to do and too little time on my hands, and a little to do with an argument that I had with my older sister having to do with my blogging and the effects of my poisoned pen so to speak. Every time I would start a new blog entry, my mind would be plagued with the questions, "Who will read this?," and, "Who will take this the wrong way?" I know now that I can still write without A) getting myself in trouble with those I care about, and B) caring about who reads this. A lot has happened since my last post--break ups, new love, new apartments, fights, new friends, proposals, and a new baby-- but, I am getting ahead of myself. Let me take you back to the beginning...

About the time that I wrote my last post, I had gotten a flat tire on the way home from work. I hadn't realized the fact until I was half way home and by the time I got home my tire was DOA (as a nice gentleman at Discount Tire would later tell me). I kind of panicked because every time that I had been in this situation, I had some type of road side assistance i.e. AAA or Progressive, but I had just switched to Geico and had opted out of their road side because of the expense. Doh! After literally having a Homer Simpson moment and smacking myself in the head, I called my sister-in-law, you might know her better as Lobotomy Please. Although I had never changed a tire in my life, she was trained to by her father and she proceeded for the next half hour to talk me through it over the phone. Only a couple hiccups such as forgetting to tell me to unscrew the lug nuts before raising the car. Right as I had just finished lowering the car and re-tightening the lug nuts, a very tall guy walks up to me and asks me if I need help. Then my sister yells on the phone, "Where was he 30 minutes ago?!" He introduces himself and claims that he just got home from work (which I would later figure out was not quite the whole truth) and as I get off the phone he suggests that he re-does my work. All the time he's working on my car he's talking about how he's recently separated  and that his ex-wife is keeping his son from him and I'm thinking, "He's either hitting on me, a really nice guy, or going to kill me" When he offers me a ride because, "He doesn't trust spare tires," I go with my survival instincts and tell him I can handle myself.

Fast forward a few days, after I had bragged about my ability to change a tire, Boy and I were about ready to go out to eat when there came a knock on my door. Boy looked at me like, "Who are you expecting?" and all I could do was shrug. When the door opened, it was my would-be rescuer. He had come to invite me to a concert and to take credit for the tire-changing rescue. I politely said maybe and then he left. Boy proceeded to puff up like a testosterone-threatened peacock and asked if I was, "checking out on him." I told him no and to calm down. On the way to dinner, I asked him if he'd like to go to Steamboat with my older siblings and I for some birthday celebrating for myself (My sister in law's idea so that he could meet the siblings w/o the pressure of meething the whole family and still have some grown up fun). He started acting all uncomfortable (meeting family for the first time), so I changed the subject. That night would be the last I'd see of Boy. He had a tendency to be available when I wasn't and wanting to be with me until it showed an inkling of getting remotely serious. Que the disappearing act. (5 years of experience on and off) I would send him random texts at random intervals because I knew he didn't like to be "clinged to." The texts would go unreturned for the next few weeks (with no explanation)--which would be plenty of time for Neighbor Boy to sweep me off my feet. The meet cute I had encountered with him would be the beginning of something that I had only heard and read about but that story is to be continued on another day.

Song of the day: "Never ever ever getting back together" by Taylor Swift